The truth is: that you feel so bad inside you can’t tolerate adding anything more to the pile of bad.The truth is: that you’ve created a pile of beliefs about yourself over time and many of those beliefs distort your sense of self like water seeping into a badly built basement.
In between the numbers 1 & 10 is the land of 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 & 9 where problems are solved.
It’s simpler when one person simply caters to another which is also more boring.
You’re overprotecting a pile of rot that ends up with you feeling fragile & full of defensiveness. It can be very painful to learn the details of your dark (or shadow) side.
This is crucial to the process of learning how to develop character. Defensiveness is a skillful tool if it is chosen carefully.
Relationships require disagreements in order to remain authentic.
People who are black and white in their thinking need to be right and never want to be questioned which is a very defensive position. Relationships by their nature, require dialogue, instead of one person caving into the other’s long monologue.
Brilliant because instead of helpless & confined she felt useful.
Mental health means being choiceful, and there are times when defensiveness can be productive.
“You’re either with me or against me” is the sum total of their experience in relationships.