Questions or concerns about the preceding article can be directed to the author or posted as a comment below.Good is not intended to be a substitute for professional advice, diagnosis, medical treatment, or therapy.This is the lever that every active drunk and junkie – and many “recovering” ones as well – use to control everyone around them: “It isn’t my fault and if you don’t give me the money I’ll die.” The trouble is that drug and alcohol abuse, dependence, and addiction, aren’t really diseases, they’re choices – choices the alcoholic and addict made and continue to make.
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Make arrangements or contact Child Protection or both. Second, they can clean up if they are sufficiently motivated and the treatment mode is carefully chosen. Third, it really is okay to save yourself and the rest of your family. Remember that you don’t have to stay stuck in the insanity of the addicted child’s world.
An almost universally overlooked aspect of the relationship of older parents to adult addicted children is that the financial support actually rewards the child for their self-destructive choices and behaviors while penalizing the parents, other children, and grandchildren. You can stay clear and not be sucked down in all of the usual “powerlessness” and “disease” model ad copy that only serves to perpetuate and justify addiction-based exploitation.
Parents are living longer, some adult children make childishness a career, and it isn’t easy to say no to a son or daughter, regardless of their age.
Then add in the grandchildren, hostages held for ransom as your child essentially blackmails you into supporting their drug and/or alcohol abuse: “Give me the money or I will kill myself,” or “they will starve,” or “we’ll be on the streets,” is the implied or actual threat, yet the money does no good.
Give yourself, your troubled child, and the rest of your family, the benefit of the best opportunities and support available.
Your addicted adult child is still an adult and will still make their own choices, one of which may be their own destruction.
Avoid any program that makes that belief part of their philosophy.
Start rewarding yourself and your family for achievements and accomplishments, not for destructive choices and habits and behaviors.
You can encourage and support other outcomes, but not by financing the addictive behaviors. The preceding article was solely written by the author named above.